Back to December.

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It's December once again, so cliché to say that time flies so fast but really, it's true. The first of January, 2011 feels like yesterday. There are just so much going through my mind that I do not know where to begin. This year itself, have been a whirlwind of emotions. Even as I am recalling now, I'm feeling a rush of emotions. But, life goes on and I have to move on. Yes, I am doing just that. But sometimes, the pain just comes back uninvited.

“Carmen, you can do this shit.”

For the past few days, I find myself staring blankly at the empty space, and I wonder how long would this carry on. I would really love to pull myself together, and just for once, stop giving a damn. What is done was done. There is really no use to think about it, it’ll only make the pain worse. So, yes. This is the ‘depression’ state, that I have been expecting. Haha, I just never thought how painful it would all be. But I have been told that it gets better with time. And with due time, I will get over it. Now, I just wish for a time machine.

I’m sorry for the emotional status updates, please bear with me. I promise, I will get better. And thank you, to those who check in with me, if I’m doing fine. <3

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